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Monday, May 28, 2012

Do You Find It Hard to Be Happy?

Do you find it hard to be happy? I do. Worrying is much more my style. I tend to fear the very worst thing I can imagine at the moment is just about to happen and it will be ALL MY FAULT. I also take disappointments hard. Especially when someone close to me has let me down. I cry a lot and struggle with sadness. Despite the many blessings I've received and the upbeat outlook I present on my blog, happiness does NOT come easily for me. But I'm working on it. I thought perhaps I'd share some helps I've found, and perhaps you would share some tips with me.

One thing I do is keep the following words posted front and center at my desk at work:

I’m going to be happy. I’m going to be grateful. I’m going to smile a lot. I’m going to be easygoing. I’m going to count my blessings. I’m going to look for reasons to feel good. I’m going to reflect on positive events from the past. I’m going to notice positive things happening now. I’m going to anticipate positive things in the future. It is my natural state to be a happy person. It’s natural for me to love and to laugh. This is what is most natural for me. I am a happy person!
Source unknown

I really like the line "I'm going to be easygoing." If I can manage that with all the challenges I face on the job, then I can be proud of myself for that day's work. I probably also made my coworkers' day a little better too.
Hey girl library style

All of this is on my mind because I recently reread one of my favorite library books on the subject: Happiness is a Choice by Barry Neil Kaufman. This author recommends making happiness a priority in your life, being authentically you, letting go of judgments, being present in the moment, being grateful, and simply deciding to be happy. I love this book. It always makes me feel better to read it. I waste a lot of time thinking about how everything would be so much better if I were "thinner, healthier, stronger, prettier, etc....whatever "er" I think I'm lacking in at that moment. Or I make myself and others unhappy by wishing THEY were something they are not (at least in my perception). "Bears" Kaufman won't have any of that. He is all about acceptance and the importance of being happy right now.

I saw a cartoon recently that said "Making the Best of an Odd Situation". The drawing shows a biker guy with "love" tattooed across his knuckles on one hand, and "happiness" tattooed across the other hand which has 9 fingers!

Now it's your turn, readers. What is your secret to happiness?


(e said...

Being happy for me is being in the moment not thinking about the past or present.

I guess what I do to make myself happy is to do things I enjoy and to be true to myself. I would not be happy living a life I don't really want just to please others or because it is easier.

(e said...

Another thing I do to help is to tell myself the following things: "This is only temporary." "Is this going to be something I will think about in a few months? A year later?" "Is this really so horrible that I will be talking about this moment when I am on my death bed?"

Sometimes I will think about very powerful and successful people I personally know when they have messed up or done embarrasing things. No one is perfect. Everyone screws up every now and then.

SpeakUp Librarian said...

Thank you (e. Those are really helpful comments! I'm going to write down your sentence "I would not be happy living a life I don't really want just to please others or because it is easier." I've been guilty of choosing the easy way out many times.

My husband is always telling me "this is only temporary" when I'm feeling down. I like how you expanded on that and said will I still be thinking about it later on in the future.

Thanks for sharing your insights.

Anonymous said...

For me I am just focusing on now. I don't look back as there are things I'd like to forget in the past. As for looking forward. I don't always look too far ahead.

My pleaseure is what i am happy doing myself. I don't work on anything to please others, as they wil be happy with what you do anyway, if they are the supportive family/friend kind, as it would be if you were supporting them in doing something they like.

SpeakUp Librarian said...

Hi Liz,
I wish I were as strong as you are in not working to please others. That must be very freeing.

Anonymous said...

I do have my odd moment where I worry what others think. But most of time I just have the I don't care attitude. For those who don't me they may think she's not nice. But for those who do know me, will know different in how I am actually, rather than how it looks or seems.

Anonymous said...

hi, I'm glad that you found ways to be happier. Sadly I'm still struggling with unhappiness with work n life

SpeakUp Librarian said...

Hi Anonymous,
I don't mean to come across like I've found THE answer. I am still struggling too! Sometimes I completely forget these positive words and succumb to despair.

If you ever want to talk, feel free to write me at my email address (on my blog home page). I can't promise solutions, but sometimes it helps just to talk things over with someone else.