My Hearing Loss, My Self Image: A New Start

Today I had my fitting for the pair of hearing aids I will receive as part of the Oticon Focus on People Award. My previous audiologist doesn't work with Oticon aids, so I went somewhere new. It was nice to have a fresh start. While reviewing my medical history with my new audiologist, I surprised myself by just how much I've learned in the five years since my hearing loss was diagnosed. I could accurately describe my past audiogram results using the palm of my hand as a "chart" and could pepper our conversation with lingo like the speech banana, T4/M4, T-coil, and sensorineural. Impressed much?

When we discussed when my hearing loss might have begun, I shared that I didn't know for sure. I can remember feeling extremely fatigued in college. Could it have been from all the listening required? I distinctly remember one English writing seminar where a professor used a video for one of our classes and a light bulb went off in my head. I immediately grasped the concept. I've often wondered if I'm a visual learner due to my hearing loss.

Looking even farther back, I wonder if I had normal hearing as a child or not. I don't know for certain because I never had a childhood hearing test. Of course, none of my teachers ever indicated there was a problem. But since I'm nearsighted and have worn glasses since I was 9 years old, I was usually seated in the front row of the classroom. Maybe I was the shy, quiet girl because of my hearing or maybe that was, and is, just me. Hard to say.

My husband used to puzzle over how quiet I become in group situations. I could chatter on comfortably one on one, but if there were three people or more present, I was rendered speechless.  Now we've realized that my difficulty in following group conversation puts me at a disadvantage. When I'm lagging a few beats behind everyone else, it's hard to contribute the appropriate response that moves a conversation forward. To this day, I prefer spending social time with my friends one-on-one as much as possible.

At the audiologist's today, I took the usual battery of diagnostic tests. I hate to admit it, but there was a part of me that secretly hoped she would say that my hearing is normal. That my previous diagnosis had all been a mistake. But no, that didn't happen. Instead she said that the conduction test proved that nothing medically could be done for my hearing and that hearing aids were my only option. She said that technology had improved in the last five years and I might be much more satisfied with the way my new aids would sound. But I would continue to struggle with hearing in noise because my hearing is impaired. My audiogram came out just like all the others.

Even after five years time, I still struggle to accept my situation. At work recently I have been reassigned from my shifts at the information desk. When I told the audiologist that, she said that was a good idea in my situation. So now I have to re-imagine myself as a virtual librarian offering help electronically rather than face-to-face. I have to accept that when I'm interacting with hearing people, conversation is harder for me. I'm going to be the quiet one.

I hope with my new aids, I will come to an acceptance of who I am now and who I always may have been. In the spirit of I. King Jordan's famous words,  I can do anything except hear perfectly and it's time I get over that and move forward. I'm looking forward to living better with Oticon. I get my new aids next week.

Apparently I'm NOT Musically Inclined

Megan of Hearing Sparks recently wrote about some interesting music tests she found online. Ever the optimist, I thought I would try it out and discover that maybe, just maybe, my hearing loss isn't as bad as I think it is. Well, that didn't happen. I flunked the tests royally. Actually, it shouldn't have been a surprise to me. I've noticed a big difference lately in my ability to listen to music. Honestly, it's something I no longer enjoy. Music just doesn't sound "right" anymore. I've even stopped singing in church because I'm no longer confident I can stay on key.

If you'd like to take the tests for yourself, you can find them at Jake Mandell MD's website. Dr. Mandell is a radiology resident, music and neuroimaging researcher, and electronic musician.

Like Megan, I thought it would be interesting to have someone with normal hearing take the tests so we could compare our results. My coworker John was happy to oblige. After the first test, he commented "This was harder than I expected." Dr. Mandell designed these tests to be challenging.


Tone Deaf
My score: 69.4% Rating: Low-normal performance
John's score: 86.1% Rating: Very good performance



Adaptive pitch
My score: At 500 HZ I can differentiate 2 tones 18 HZ apart. Rating: Possible Pitch Perception Deficit Ranking: 0 percentile. Yikes!

John's score: At 500 HZ he can differentiate 2 tones 7.8 HZ apart. Rating: Normal.


Rhythm
My score 56%. Rating: Below normal performance. Score of 60% indicates normal performance and 55% and below indicates possible rhythm perception or memory deficit.

John's score 64%. Rating: Normal performance..

AMVI [Musical intelligence]
My score: 35%. Rating: Below normal performance.

John's score: 76%. Rating: Very good performance.

I'm glad I had John take the tests with me. Otherwise I might be tempted to dismiss them as faulty. I guess I'm making the right decision to refrain from singing in church after all.

My Hearing Test and Results

Last week I went for a hearing exam. I thought I'd describe my experience and share my results and conversation with the audiologist.

I was shown into the testing room and given a seat in a soundproof booth where I removed my hearing aids. My nose was sprayed with a solution to clear my nasal passages so I could get the best results possible. "The ear and nose are connected," explained the technician.

I had my ear pressure tested first. A handheld instrument was held up to each ear. I could hear some ringing tones but I did not need to respond in any way. This test was not uncomfortable at all.

Here's a YouTube video that demonstrates and explains this test of the middle ear. (Note: this audiologist uses different equipment than mine.) Captions provided by Bill Cresswell.



Next I had a speech reception threshold test. For this test I needed to respond to what the technician said. Headphones were placed over my ears, the door to the booth was closed, and the technician spoke to me through a microphone connected to my headphones. She said spondee words (two syllable words spoken with equal stress) like cowboy, hotdog, and ice cream.

Note: if you've ever wondered if it's a problem that you're familiar with the words for this test, check out this helpful article for some reassurance that it's fine. What's being checked is how softly the words can be spoken and you can still respond correctly.

My final test was to listen through the headphones for tones and push a handheld button (ala Jeopardy!)as soon as I heard something. Tones would be presented at varying pitches. I asked if I should push the button if I was unsure whether I was simply hearing an echo or a new tone. I was told to push that button!

Here's a YouTube video that demonstrates and explains this test of the inner ear. (As before, this audiologist uses slightly different equipment than mine. I found it really interesting to see the test performed from the audiologist's perspective.) Captions provided by Bill Cresswell.



Like the other tests, this one is painless. Actually the hardest part is waiting for the results. With bated breath I waited to find out if my hearing loss had gotten any worse.

The technician announced that the audiologist would see me next and she told me my hearing had remained the same. Phew. I released my breath and relaxed.

My first hearing test ever had been performed in 2006 and the two taken since then have revealed no further hearing loss. That's good news!

In the audiologist's office, I asked if my hearing aids could be adjusted a bit. I explained that my son had told me the following joke recently, "What does one tickle say to another?" I guessed "ha ha". He looked at me strangely and said, "Dill you be my valentine?" Oops. He had actually said pickle, not tickle. The audiologist reassured me that mistaking high pitched consonants was not unusual for my type of hearing loss and that she could adjust the volume upward only in their range. That way everything else wouldn't seem extremely loud. After the adjustment she said "sickle, pickle, tickle, thickle" and I could tell them apart!

I told her I have trouble coping with the buzzer sounding at my son's basketball games. I jump almost every time. She said something I had never known before - that with my type of hearing loss, I am prone to be more sensitive to volume differences. Hmmm....that's interesting!

Then she changed my eartubes for fresh, clean ones. I asked her about using a Dry & Store. She said she had something similar she could sell me for $10. I was pretty sure the Dry & Stores were more expensive in the catalogs I had seen. Since I hadn't been using one at all up until now, I thought I'd get hers. It's basically a plastic jar with a screw on lid. Inside on the bottom is a screen filled with desiccant beads to remove moisture. The instructions say "When all the desiccant beads are green, it is time to reactivate. To do this, place desiccant, screen side up, in microwave and heat for 30 seconds on high. Repeat cycle until beads are orange. Cool before touching."



Next I asked her about cleaning my eartubes with Audiowipes. She suggested using Huggies wipes Natural Care (no alcohol) as they would be much less expensive. I found them at my local grocery store for less than $2.

So what do you think? Are these bargains an acceptable substitute for the name brand items found in the catalogs? What products do you use?

I'll blog again soon about ways I've been trying to protect my hearing.
Thanks again to Bill Cresswell for making these videos accessible.

SpeakUp Librarian is Born

September 20, 2006

At the doctor's office my ears, nose, and throat were examined and then an audiologist tested my hearing several different ways. I remember being tested with a tuning fork. That wasn't too bad. Then I went into a soundproof booth and had to listen to words and say out loud what had been said. Yikes - there were several possibilities in my mind - which one had been said? I wanted to answer it was either this or that.

The worst part of the testing came when tones were played and I had to push a button as soon as I heard them. At first the tones were heard easily but then it was harder to distinguish...had there been a new tone or were only echoes floating in the air? Should I push the button or not? I wasn't sure. Then the booth became completely quiet but the test wasn't over. My heart sank.

The audiologist was very kind when she went over my test results with me. I will be forever grateful to her for that. She explained that I had permanent hearing loss. My colds and allergies and stuffed up nose did not account for my being unable to hear the alarm.

She said I was a candidate for hearing aids. I was completely shocked! At my age how could this be possible, I wondered. But of course I wanted to hear. There was not going to be a time of thinking about it as she suggested. I placed my order that day.