My junior high son is addicted to Runescape, an online computer game. He plays it every chance he gets. What I find interesting is how he plays. He connects online with his friends from school. They will arrange to meet in a particular "world" of the game and talk to each other on the phone while they are playing. It's a sight to see my son with his eyes glued to the computer screen, his left hand holding a cordless phone, and his right hand operating the mouse. When a friend of his wants to play for the first time, experienced players will create a character for him and "level up" the character so he starts out strong. The boys also take turns playing each others' characters.
I used to have only negative feelings about video games. [Keep in mind, I am just old enough that I didn't grow up playing with an Atari. Computer games were very crude when I was my son's age. Remember Pong? I thought that was awesome. ha, ha.]... As a concerned mom I considered video games to be time wasters and an unnecessary violent influence. Then a couple years back I read The Kids are Alright: How the Gamer Generation is Changing the Workplace which really changed my thinking. I have to admit for my own job I've attended events held in Second Life, a virtual world.
I realize now that computer games are here to stay and that virtual worlds will affect the way we react with our environment in the future. Of course that doesn't absolve me of the responsibility to monitor my son's online activities, to teach him about the effects of violent video games, and to inform him about the necessity of protecting his private information for his personal safety. I have our computer set up in the living room where I can be nearby and observe what's happening. Certain games I've forbidden based on their ratings (although many of his peers are allowed to have them). The two of us have regular discussions about his gaming so I can keep up with the new words popping up in his vocabulary. [He now talks in acronyms - his favorite response is IDK for I don't know. LOL, I only write in acronyms.]
What do you think of video games? If you have kids what rules do you have for them?
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14 comments:
I used to feel the same as you, but my husband bought our oldest son his first Nintendo when he was six.
I honestly think it saved his life once just after he graduated high school. He had this racing game he used to play where he'd have to avoid sudden obstacles while driving at high speeds.
So he was in a car with a bunch of boys driving down a dark mountain pass in the middle of the night. First this drunk driver speeds by swerving all over the road. She must have hit a deer because just after that he rounds a dark bend to discover a dead deer in his lane. He's going about 75mph and realizes he won't clear it. If he swerves to the right or left he's sure the car will flip. So he centers his wheels to hit it straight on and flies right over the top. Car doesn't flip. The gasket is knocked off the bottom which disables the car, but a guy following behind picks them up and takes them to an all-night coffee shop where the boys laugh about their ordeal and call their mothers.
Later I ask how he knew to center the car. "Remember that game I used to have mom?. . .I flipped my car so many times before learning what to do. . ."
I don't have a problem with gaming. Let them play! :-)
Great story, Kim. My son will love hearing it.
Sarah
While I don't care for video games myself, I see nothing wrong with them.
My son plays with Sony Playstation, GameCube and Wii, but it is never excessive.
I have never had the need to set up rules for which games he may play. Maybe I am just lucky as he never chosen anything of which I did not approve.
Hi John,
Some of my son's friends have parents who buy them everything they want even games labelled M for Mature. I've discussed my feelings with my son that I do not want him to play games like that at other people's houses and why I feel this way. I've suggested ways he might handle such situations tactfully. Ultimately it's up to him. I have to trust his judgment and realize that sometimes one has to see what junk is in order to appreciate quality.
Thanks for your comment.
There's been a few stories recently about kids addicted to games who have acted out violent scenes in real life. Which led to some people calling for games to be banned.
History repeats itself, eh? We have the video nasties being banned for years and then being unbanned. And there was that hilarious case years ago where someone claimed they listened to a Judas Priest record backwards and it told them to kill.
One thing I do think people need to be clear about is that video games are not just a kids thing any more. Just as there are book for adults and books for kids, films for adults and films for kids there are also games for adults.
And they mustn't be sold to kids. Games like Grand Theft Auto have 15 ratings for a good reason - they contain adult content. I think too many parents still think games consoles are toys and this is leading to a lot of youngsters playing unsuitable material.
And then people get upset when little Tommy gets obsessed and stabs someone.
Hi Steve,
I remember backmasking. I think we're dating ourselves here. :)
Thanks for your supportive comment on the difference between games for kids and games for adults.
Sarah
My daughter did the same thing as you Sarah, computer in the living room so it can be monitored. They also do not have TV, she felt that she could only manage one or the other and the computer won.
Our girls did not have Nintendo. They had a used pong from a rummage sale on an old TV in the basement. Times do change and now I actually sit with my grandson on the computer and help him play computer games. I had to change my attitude too and it was stories like Kim's that got me there.
It is a parent's responsibility to monitor and I think you are doing what you can. It is the same thing we did with music and movies. There is more on a parent's list these days adding computers and cell phones and all that goes with that! The job keeps getting harder.
Hi kim!
Hope all goes well with you. I personally really never thought about what is suitable and what is not for kids. I think the main thing is just that as long as they are aware it's just games for entertainment purposes only.
I remember when I was little, my friends at school were always like "shocked" at how my mom lets me watch any movies including R rated ones as well as any video games. I never get it why they'd think it's a big deal.
So, whenever I have them over, first thing they wanted to do is to watch movies or play games cuz many of these they were not allowed at home.
They were like kids in a candy store so you couldn't believe how so excited they get every time I invite 'em over.
I guess growing up that my mom taught the difference between reality and fiction, that's what I would teach my kids whenever I have one someday.
In case you are wondering, my very first scary movie was The Shining when I was 8 and I watched it 6 times that year, ha ha. :-)
-SG
Hi Glenice,
Thanks for your encouraging comment. It's always reassuring to me to hear from those who have gone before on the parenting path.
Thanks!
Sarah
Hi Seek Geo,
Thanks for your comment. I never thought about emphasizing the difference between fantasy and reality. You make a good point.
You were very brave to see The Shining at age 8. I haven't ever seen it- just the picture of Jack Nicholson's leering face is scary enough.
I think you will be an awesome dad when you are ready.
All the best, Sarah
Oops.. please forgive me.. I don't know why I used "kim" instead of "Sarah" - I guess from seeing "kim" on first comment, it got on my mind, ha ha!
Ah right "fantasy" is the right word, thanks for the reply! :-)
-SG
You're forgiven, Seek Geo.
My son was thrilled to see you commented twice. Remember him from the jelly bean videos?
Sarah
My son likes video games. I closely monitor what he plays. He has alot of different gaming systems and a computer.
I use parental controls and have spoken to him in great length about strangers online and how to be sensible about what he does.
So far we haven't had any problems.
In moderation in can be fun...we have Singstar and Guitar Hero and enjoy those also as a family. Oh and DDR. Although I am not coordinated enough for that.
I'd love to try Dance Dance Revolution or Wii Fitness. Isn't it funny how our kids are playing 80s songs on Guitar Hero? We don't have that but my neighbor's son does. It looks fun.
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